The ‘THOT Leader’ of New York: SX Noir's Tech-Driven Sexual Revolution
“I think that anyone who is a thought leader, a THOT leader, is someone who pushes the bounds of sexuality and also the bounds of culture.”
Building a platform in New York requires a different level of grit, more so when pursuing nontraditional fields. Most people met in creative circles exist as multi-hyphenates, having picked up multiple skill sets to better uplift their chosen passions. A musician, a graphic designer, a sound engineer, a multimedia artist, and event curator all being the same person can very much feel like the norm. Simply put: not everyone can do it, so seeing people actually accomplish this in real time never ceases to be amazing. Enter SX Noir.
Most often you’ll find her curating events, panels, and parties in Manhattan and Brooklyn, and her rise in the New York Nightlife scene as the “thot leader of sex-tech” has been an adventure in itself. From Kansas City, Missouri, SX found herself gravitating towards people on the margins of society. This would include people in the sex industry from multiple different facets. Despite the initial stigma, her interactions showed her that participants in the industry tended to be very caring and outgoing, flipping the universal taboos associated with sex.
Seeking new growth and space, SX found herself traveling to study abroad in London. It was in the Big Smoke where she had her first foray in the sex industry, and by her own words, “was living a romanticized version of life” laden with regular travel and freedom. This was but one way she saw how empowering the sex industry can be for people when agency and consent are placed at the forefront. Since leaving London for New York, SX has been on an almost single-minded mission to bring awareness to the innumerable intersections of sex, technology, culture and more in every aspect of what she does, most visibly from her residency in the city’s famous Museum of Sex.
On a late July afternoon, SX took the trek uptown to join the ARCHIV3 team at Scott Bleu Studios to share her story, her work, and the trajectory of her platform.
THIS INTERVIEW HAS BEEN EDITED AND CONDENSED FOR BREVITY.
Nik VRSI: SX, First question where did the name SXNoir come from?
SX Noir: SXNoir — where did it come from?
It's black sex, right. And sex is highly censored online so I used the abbreviation SX — I came about it from dabbling in the sex industry and knowing a lot of people in the industry. We have pseudonyms. We have monikers that explain who we are, which are not our real names.
It felt very personal and intimate to share my legal given name. So I go by SX Noir. My given name is French, so I love noir and then SX - black sex.
Nik: One of my favorite things about the way you introduce yourself in any space it's never just SX Noir. It is SX Noir, the “thot leader in sex tech.” So I think before we go into what thot leader means to you, when you speak about sex tech, what is your definition of it?
SX: I believe it's any technology that enhances the human experience of sexuality. And this can encompass so many different industries from dating apps to reproductive justice to business, innovation, culture, and ultimately entrepreneurship for anyone who's pioneering the intersection of sex and tech. It is my passion and my love.
Nik: You're also not spelling thought leader the way that everyone else is. So what does being a “thot leader” mean to you?
SX Noir: So there's this term in the world called “thought leader” and this is someone who is pioneering thought, someone who is pushing the boundaries of what is currently allowed in society. And so I chose the name thot leader because it's “T-H-O-T”. It’s a term that comes from the South, meaning a very promiscuous woman, someone who's involved in sexuality.
And so I wanted to reclaim that. And Thot Leader comes from black queer culture, specifically black women and queer culture. So I wanted to reclaim that. So I'm going to give a nod to that as far as sexuality, being queer, and then also being a leader. And I think that anyone who is a thought leader, a THOT leader, is someone who pushes the bounds of sexuality and also the bounds of culture.
Nik: When it comes to the sex tech, what were some of the things that helped you first recognize how powerful the intersections of sex and technology are?
SX Noir: I studied in London for a while, then I moved here to New York, and I befriended a lot of people who worked in the sex industry as a whole. I realized that they were very discriminated against online, that they were facing not being able to be on Tinder, not being able to rent an Airbnb, and it made me wonder, why is this?
Why are they being so discriminated against? I did a hackathon with Bryony Cole back in 2017, and I became very vocal around the intersection sex work and sex tech and how often while being the leaders in culture and technology, they're often discriminated against and yeah, I just started being very vocal about it.
Nik: So then, so as you're being more vocal about it and as people are tuning in what are you asking listeners and newcomers or people curious about these spaces? What would you want them to consider as they're exploring different thinking about sex tech and sexuality as a whole?
SX Noir: When someone is new to the sex and tech industry or simply an enthusiast, which I embrace fully, I always want to ground it within empathy and consent and understanding that while there's a lot of shame and stigma attached to sexuality, it's truly exploratory, pleasure built space. And so I'd love for people to just play and to have fun and to explore what they want to see in the world when it comes to sex tech.
Nik: That's amazing. So here going off the beaten path, what do you want to see from sex tech?
SX Noir: What I want to see from sex tech is very much what I'm doing in this world, which is curating communities and bringing IRL communities together.
I think it's really important to disconnect, to reconnect, and being able to come together. Collaborate and be in community with other people who are sex positive and interested in technological pioneering, I think is something that really interests me and pushing the bounds of what already exists.
Nik: Definitely. I don't really think you see a separation always between your activism and your work. They go hand in a lot of ways. But how would you define the relationships you've seen between sex tech and activism from your experience?
SX Noir: As SX Noir, I've experienced a lot of intersection between sex tech and activism. I believe that sex tech in itself is activism and I organized the largest sex worker march in history in 2020 during Black Lives Matter. And one of our demands was to end discrimination in digital spaces for sex workers. In 2018, there was a law passed under Trump called FOSTA SESTA, which was the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act. And what it did was it was supposed to fight online sex trafficking but what it did was actually censor sexuality as a whole.
Platforms like Instagram advertising sites blacklisting sites to take sexuality out of their platforms completely — even Craigslist and things of that nature. And what it did was ultimately help sex workers not only advertise, but also maintain safety while they're doing sex work.
Nik: Here I'm going to add an extra question on top of that, and then one last one before we wrap things up. What are some innovations you're seeing in the sex tech space that are especially exciting to you?
SX Noir: What I'm seeing in the sex tech space that are exciting to me is artificial intelligence, of course. The innovation around robots, sex robots, chat bots. AI can be used for therapy, entertainment, or even companionship as a whole. It's something that really excites me.
Nik: One of the ways we bonded was being excited about emerging technologies, specifically AI and Web3. What are some of the things within Web3 that you're seeing intersect with Sextech that you think more people should know about?
SX Noir: Yeah working in Sextech, I'm very enthusiastic about the future of Web3 and blockchain technologies being integrated within the tech that we use. One thing I'm excited about is anti-piracy. So the agency being returned to the content creators by not being scraped, and having their content stolen and re-shared on centralized platforms. Another is decentralized payment processing like crypto. I think there's a lot of potential behind the anonymity and privacy that we get when we don't experience that with traditional banking systems.
And also last but not least, I believe that it's so exciting to think about the Entertainment aspect behind Web3 and how immersive and real that it can be and cutting out that middleman. And, metaverses, I'm very excited about virtual worlds. I'm very excited about virtual worlds within sex tech.
Nik: Definitely. And I guess lastly, what are some future projects that you’re is working on for 2024 and beyond?
SX Noir: A big project that I'm working on right now is my sex tech network. And the sex tech network is a community, a virtual community of people that are enthusiastic around sex and tech. This will be a virtual meetup every month, an in person meetup every month, as well as a directory of people in the sex tech profession behind a private community network. And this is something that's innovative to solve the problems around sharing resources, financial discrimination, advertising discrimination, and the isolation that comes with it as well. So this will be a virtual community launching in the fall of 2025, alongside my monthly sex tech networking events at the Museum of Sex.
SX Noir’s mission to change the way we understand and deconstruct stigma and taboo regarding sex has not only helped to level up her own life, but fundamentally changed how people see their own relationships with pleasure and consent. Operating from a place of intelligence, empathy, and accountability, her events completely deconstruct self-imposed impressions of sex-related spaces by being inclusively exclusive without gatekeeping. It’s safe to say that as her platform grows, ARCHIV3 is excited to see the change SX Noir is set to be the agent for.
Interview & Writing: Nik VRSI
Photography and Video: Josh Sauceda
Production Set: Scott Bleu Studios
Production Team: Bleu Pablo, Paula Muniz, Jordy Rodriguez
